bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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