My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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