apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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