Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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