Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
