I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
please come you make the beer taste better
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
