What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize