The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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