dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
