apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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