Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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