I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
this just has baby written all over it
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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