Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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