So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
