if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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