You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
