I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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