I'm gonna have a badass scar
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
