his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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