i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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