How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
