what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
