why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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