I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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