It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
