You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
