Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
