The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
