Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
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he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
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My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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