Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I have already put on my inside pants.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
