i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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