That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
