omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
