Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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