doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
