I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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