And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
