He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
