Only a mothe r could love this liver
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
