so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
