she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
