But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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