butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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