She is in my trunk
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I wish i was in the wii world.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
