so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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