I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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