I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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