Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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