ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
