is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
handjob tips. give me some.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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