I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
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Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
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I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize