wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
