What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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