i jhust puked up my retainher.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize