so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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