I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
