he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
