so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
