I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
