That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
