Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
