forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Buhtt sex?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize