She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Rumble strips road head = magical
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
