Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
the raccoons are back...
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