We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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