So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
