We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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