I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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