This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
